In Dreams
by qkslvr
Summary: A long time has passed and someone is left alone. Now, he tells his story...*don't let the chapter numbers fool you, i actually have chapter4 up, already. the ff.net people must really hate me...took me ages before i could upload this one up!*
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **Neither the anime nor the characters belong to me, and as much as I hate to admit it, I don't even get anything for this.

**Warnings: **None yet. Maybe later, if you really want some. Okay, I think I should put in sap. By the author, not the story.

**Notes: **Hmm…I got part of the idea from a story I read before. Oddly enough, it's a fanfic, too, but different series. And the other part, I got from a book. Guess what, I don't even own the book. Jeez…

**In Dreams**

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_There was a time sometime ago_

_When every sunrise meant a sunny day, oh a sunny day_

_And now when the morning light shines in_

_It only disturbs the dreamland where I lay, oh where I lay_

_I used to thank the Lord when I'd wake_

_For life and love and the golden sky above me_

_But now I pray the stars will go on shining,_

_You see in my dreams you love me…_

—"In My Dreams" REO Speedwagon

****************************

I walked in the room. It had been left untouched for…how long? Five days? Eight months? A decade? I can't remember. It seems the years have finally caught up with me.

Looking around, I saw that everything had been left the way it has always been. In fact, if I close my eyes, I could still see the place, brand new. Just like the day we moved in.

Walking across the room, with the floor creaking under me, I brush my hands on the surface of a desk. Actually, it was a dressing table. The mirror's still in tact, but it, too, like everything in here, is old. I could feel the dust accumulating in my fingers as I brush it along the edges of the table.

My gaze travel around the room before it finally focused on the bed. Still made as if it had been slept on the night before. The sheets that used to be pristine were now covered with dust and cobwebs.

Tears start to collect at the corners of my eyes. This is foolish; I'm too old to for melancholies. Then again, that's all I'm left with, right? Memories. Memories of a distant past that won't leave me in peace, always haunting the very edge of my self.

Slowly, I walked over to the bed. If I had it my way, I would've moved faster, but the years had made my bone brittle, making it impossible for any strenuous movements.

Where is it? Oh, right there.

Amongst the dirt and grime lay a picture frame. Suddenly weakened by the sight of it, I gently lowered myself to the bed and set my cane aside, I willed my hands to pick it up. Raising my left hand to the surface, I brushed the dust from it. Ever so slowly, I uncovered a portrait. Of two young boys who, once upon a time, lived life contentedly. As if they were invincible. Heh, weren't we all? Invincible, I mean. I remember when I was young; clearly, how I always dared to do everything, thinking that I have super strength of sorts that would ward off any harm that might befall on me. Now, looking at myself, I guess I passed that stage already. I'm way past it.

Turning my attention back to the photos, I smile. Two pairs of cheerful eyes faced me, as if daring me to wipe that look away from their faces. I chuckled—my voice thinned from age, but still strong when considering how old I am now—yes, I remember very clearly my childhood. I thought I had forgotten, but it seems to be surging back to me, in the eyes of these two energetic youths.

Oh, have I forgotten to mention what's in the picture? Again, I'm sorry. I seem to be forgetting a lot of things nowadays. In the picture, the boys—one purple-haired and the other brown-haired—had their arms around each other's shoulders. The younger boy's—the brown-haired one—bright brown eyes spoke of an intelligence that surpassed those of his age. A supreme leadership under the cool demeanor. The smaller, yet older one, on the other hand, had purple eyes that screamed of mischief. His small frame hiding an incomparable strength, all of heart, body and soul. It was taken on a bright summer day, as one of the boys—the taller one—held a soccer ball in his hand, while the other was wearing the gloves of a goalie. It was the day of championship, with their team the victor.

Why do I know such small details, you ask? Well, how could I not? One of those boys was me. Can you tell which one?

I wipe my eyes as a tear finally managed to escape the confines of my eyelid, wrinkled and almost translucent.

Setting the frame back to its position under the lamp, my eyes trailed to a piece of paper. Browned by age and stained with water. Raindrops, I guess. When I said earlier that this very room had not been touch for some time, that included fixings. This must be filled with things that needed to be fixed now that I thought about it. The owner would be displeased. But no, I'm the owner. I don't care. I don't have to fix this room if I don't want to.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the paper. I look at it as if expecting some impending doom to fall upon me if I touch it. You old fool, this could not hurt you anymore, could it? It already took everything away from you. It can't hurt you anymore.

Tracing the patterns on the frame one last time, my hand traveled to the piece of bond paper lying beside it. Lifting it up so I can read the contents, I frown. Even the letters faded due to the length of time it just sat here, waiting to be noticed. But I don't have to read what's written here, right? I knew it then, I know it now. The moment my eyes laid on the insignia at the top of the page, I knew. This paper would change the rest of my life.

You want to know what it contains? Well, I'll tell you. But you have to be ready for this. I am old, but I know the story still makes me weak. After all, I have lived it. It had been my life. No, it had been what changed my life.

Now, I'm going to ask you again, are you ready?

_Duo: Ne…that's scary._

_Q: eh? What d'ya mean scary?_

_Duo: You. Making a serious fic. Scary._

_Q: *grits teeth* take that back._

_Duo: Ha! Make me._

_Q: Damn right, I will._

_Duo: Nyanya…_

_Q: Oh, you are so gonna be sorry after I'm done with you!_

_Duo: uh-oh…Heero!!!!!_

_Q: *rubs hands together* Heh. Good riddance. So…whaddya think? *assumes old man's voice* are you ready? Review!_


	2. New kid in town

**Disclaimer: **Who, Qkslvr? Oh yeah…that's me. Oh, what? Fushigi Yuugi? Oh, sorry…nope. Belongs to someone else.

**Warnings: **Actually…none still.

**Notes: **What. An. Idiot. Would you believe I forgot one veeerrry important detail? Can you tell? Well, I forgot to mention who's POV this is. Good God, you'd think I'd remember something that simple…

**In Dreams**

My story took place in a small town in New Mexico called Belen. I don't know if you've heard about it, it's a pretty small town. About five thousand something population. The year was 1946 and I was, if I'm not mistaken, sixteen years old.

You see our town is really small that everyone knows everyone and anybody's business is everybody's business, if you know what I mean. So, that also means a new face in town couldn't go past the observant eyes of the ladies who gather in front of the local pantry every afternoon.

I remember that day clearly, May 16, the day was warm with the summer sun up high. Now, I live in New Mexico, just off to the south of Arizona, so that means most of the time we're exposed to the heat of the sun. Actually, too much sun, if you ask me. Anyway, that day, a family of five just moved in the empty store about five blocks from where I live. Don't get me wrong, I don't gossip, but in a town so small where news—especially gossip—travels faster than lightning, you'd be an idiot not to know what's going on.

So, anyway, the family just moved in. The old store they were moving in to had been empty for as long as I remember. When I was young, my grandfather used to tell me stories about that store. When he was young, he and his friends used to go there around six o'clock in the evening and try to summon the ghosts that inhabit the place and when they hear a creak or any sound at all, they'd all run across town and tell everybody the store was possessed. I would watch in fascination as my grandfather told the same story over and over again during Halloween, when my cousins come over for Trick-or-Treating. We would all sit around him in front of the fireplace, the light of the fire giving his face a scary effect and we'd scream in fright whenever he gets this scary look on his face and surprise us with his deep laugh. I tell you, my grandfather is a nice man, but he laughs like the devil.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the family that just moved in. When I heard that, I was with my friends under the mango tree we have claimed our own. When we found the spot, we started carving our names along the trunk. Drove the adults nuts. Anyway, when we found out about the new addition to our happy little town, we hurriedly got on our bikes and sneaked over to the store, in hopes of finding a beautiful girl with the family and then maybe we can show off our heroic deeds and help them get settled in.

As it turned out, almost half the town got there before us. I could see Butcher Tom from the Butcher Shop, bringing some fresh meat, Mrs. Thompson from next door, carrying some sort of dish she invented as a housewarming gift. Let me tell you, you wouldn't want Mrs. Thompson bringing you any food. The woman has way too much time on her hands that she can invent something made from inedible ingredients and still call them food. Ugh, excuse me while I puke. I looked at the cars lined up in front of the house and found that my Mom's blue Mitsubishi was also there. I wonder what my mother is doing to the poor newcomers. Now, don't get me wrong, I like my mother, she's a really nice person, but sometimes she has a tendency to overdo her kindness that it ends up a bit suffocating. Just a bit.

Realizing we won't get a good look at the children anyway, me and my friends started to turn our bikes around and head for the park. We'd see them in school, anyway. I was about to turn when a flicker of purple caught my eyes. Turning back to the house, I saw them—the children. Actually, only one of them was a child. They were al purple-haired and looked almost alike. There was a tall one, a boy, about 18, grabbing some boxes from the back of a Uhaul and bringing them in the house. That left another boy with his sister, I presume. The boy—about my age or so—grabbed another box and his sister—eleven, I think—trailed off after him, grabbing the hem of his shirt. Now, normally, this wouldn't catch my attention seeing as its just two boys and if there was one girl, she's too young, but there's something about them. I don't know what, but they just kind of forcibly pulled my attention. I guess it was their hair. I've never seen anyone with purple hair before. And these three have it. I thought maybe they dyed it, but during those times, dyeing hair are specifically for celebrities only. Expensive.

After the momentary glitch in my attention, I just shrugged it off and followed my friends.

True to my expectations, there he was, the middle kid, walking into my homeroom, first day of class. He was shy, I can tell, by the way he walked in the room with his hands stuffed in his jean pockets and his head held down low. Must be hard being the new kid in town. I wouldn't know I've lived in this place forever. My father used to tell me stories how his ancestors used to race to claim a piece of land. Well, if that was true, my ancestors must be in one hell of a hurry to claim land. Our house sat very near the river and at times, when a tornado hits the county, our house is the first one to get soaked._ Way to go. _

So, the new kid sat in the third row and was apparently being completely ignored by everyone. Mind you, we may be a small town, but ours is a heavily discriminating small town. Instantly, I felt my heart go out to the kid. After all, what could be worse than to move in to a town where no one even notices you?

I, myself, sat at the end of the room, the last row. That one is exclusive to my friends and me. Let me tell you, one good thing about having football player friends is that most people give you space. But it's more out of fright than respect. I should mind, shouldn't I? But no, I don't.

The new kid brought out a notebook and started writing something. For some reason, I was curious as to what. Maybe it's a journal. He's writing about how this school is filled with bitches and jerks. Mind you, I'm not one of them. But I'd be an idiot if I let them know that. Even in the 40's, reputation is everything. If you're seen donating to the church out of your own volition, that'd be the talk of the whole school. You'd never live long enough to hear the end of it. I remember how the kids taunted this girl about how she always rats on to her mom what they do to her in school. She ended up transferring at the end of the year. I wouldn't want to be like that. So better to go with the flow, instead of be the odd ball.

The teacher arrived shortly and we did this hideous welcoming ritual we've done since preschool. We'd walk over to the new kid, tell him or her something about ourselves and try to get to know them and promise to be their friend, blah, blah. I mean, for Pete's sake, that's what preschoolers do. We're in high school and we still do that. Whatever, school board.

When it was my turn, I don't know what I was gonna say. Usually, I invent stories of how me and my dad love to climb volcanoes and stuff, but for some reason, I feel odd saying that to him. Walking slowly to his seat, I smiled.

"Hi," he smiled. He sounded like a_ girl!_

"Hey."

"You don't seem to be very fond of this."

I snorted and ran my hand through my hair, "Sort of."

He held out his hand, "I'm Ryuuen. Ryuuen Chou. I live at the…"

"Store, I know. I've seen you when your family moved in."

"Oh. You're…?"

I smiled sheepishly; I can't believe I forgot that! "Saihitei. Saihitei Seishuku."

"Oh, your mom visited us before." He said, still smiling. Doesn't his jaws hurt?

"Yeah. You remembered?"

He shrugged, "Yeah, she's really nice. She talked about you a lot."

Well, gee mom_ thanks. _"Yeah? What did she say?"

He smiled mysteriously, "Oh, you know. This and that."

I was about to ask him exactly what but the teacher rang the bell, telling me my two minutes was up. Oh yeah, in case I forgot to mention, we have two minutes to get to know each other. And they expect us to forge a lifetime friendship in that short amount of time.

"Hey, we're going to the park, you comin'?"

That was my best friend, Jason Hall. His parents practically own the county. I think his ancestors even discovered this place. Anyway, he's also the football captain. Smart, handsome, and an all around jerk. Only to the girls, though. He's actually a nice guy behind that jerky façade.

We, along with our friends like to go to the park after classes. They play football, while I just lie on the bleachers and nap. I've never been much of the sporty type. Not like I'm flabby or anything, I just don't do sports when I can just lie around and nap. As I was on the process of covering my face with my cap, the football they've been playing around with landed and hit me smack on the nose.

"Oww…" I'm bleeding. Good.

I heard footsteps coming towards me and Jason was leaning down to look at my face, "Aw, sorry, Sai. Didn'tcha hear the ball comin'?"

I gave him a sharp look, still cradling my offended body part, "You could've gived be a wardig, you dow."

He fought snickers and removed his shirt and held it to my nose, "Here."

I scooted away, wincing as my nose started to throb. Ow, even that hurt. "What the…d'ya hodestly thigk I'd allow that to cob dear be?"

"Fine, what do you want?"

I grabbed the bottle of water he was saving up for after practice and held it to my nose. I see my mom doing this whenever I get nosebleeds when I was young.

Later, after everyone left, me and Jason sat on the bleachers quietly. My nose still hurts, but at least it stopped bleeding.

"What do you think about the new kid? Whathisname…?" he asked me.

"Ryuuen."

"Yeah, him. Weird hair, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so. He's okay."

He looked at me and just shrugged. Jason and I have been friends since we were in first grade and he knows I have a soft heart for…well, everybody. I guess that's why he decided to appoint himself my personal bodyguard. When we were in fifth grade, I got in a fight with a bunch of seventh graders who I accidentally slammed with a bathroom door. I almost died when they threatened to meet me behind the junk shop after class. The empty lot behind the junk shop is exclusively reserved for big fights. Students would gather around and take bets on who'd win. When Jason found out about it, he insisted on coming and when we met the other guys on the way to the empty lot, he socked them in the face all the way to next Saturday. We arrived and there were students waiting for the fight to begin. We just explained that the other guys chickened out and skipped. When they found the same guys with bruises on Monday, they knew what happened. Everyone was too afraid to pick on me since then.

The next day, we were lining up for PE. I don't like PE, we're always being forced to do stupid kinds of sports. As I've said before, I'm not fat, I actually have quite an athletic build, I just don't like sports much, is all. Usually, I sign up for soccer so I don't have to do PE. Now, soccer is a nice sport. I think that's the only one I like. Even after watching Jason and the others play numerous games, I still don't get a hang out of football. But soccer's another story. You see, my uncle used to be a striker for the national team and he'd teach me how to kick a ball properly when I was young.

This year, however, I forgot to sign in and when I went to the coach this morning, the slots have all been filled. It's not actually the varsity, you see, just a club of sorts. But anyway, I didn't get in this year so here I am, in line with everyone else, doing PE.

I looked around the group of wide-eyed students and noticed that Ryuuen wasn't here. What? First week and absent already? Wow, he must really hate school.

That afternoon, I met up with Jason in front of his locker.

"So, how's soccer?"

"I dunno. Ask them."

His brows furrowed in confusion, "I thought you like it."

"Yeah I do, but I didn't get to sign up." I shrugged. He knows I'm pretty much bummed by it, but in any case, I won't let it show.

"How come? The new kid was there."

My eyes widened, they let the new kid—I mean Ryuuen sign up, but not me? "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, they were practicing before we did."

Wow, this sucks. I was trapped to do PE and the new kid gets to play soccer. Well, he must be really rich or really good to get this special treatment.

We were about to go out to the park when I heard someone call me. I turned around and saw Coach Burns from soccer. Patting Jason on the back to tell him to go ahead, I half-ran half-walked to the coach's office.

"Ahh, Saihitei. Well, seems we've got a little confusion here. Turns out, we have a slot open for you. Would you like to sign up?"

"No kidding," I muttered under my breath, and then louder, "Sure coach."

I walked out later, a member of the team. Well, looks like I wouldn't have to go to PE later, then. Heh.

AN: I know they live in the States and all, but I'm gonna use my country's school system. Since I've proven it to be kind of hard to write a story about kids going to school in a place where I don't know shit about the system (courtesy of my other story,_ Takyou, Kondo_, oh, read it, read it! And review!…ehhhh, okay, enough shameless plug for the day)

Anyway…aaaahhhhh, I'm so excited about this one. I actually wrote the epilogue already. Wow, is that a sign of me being a loser or what? Annnnyway…review! ^____^


	3. Secret friendshipanyone?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Saihitei and Ryuuen.

**Notes: **I'm taking advantage of the fact that this is my last week of vacation and I'm trying to write as many chapters as possible before the idea slips away from my grasp.

**In Dreams**

Soccer practice that day was a bit boring, if you ask me. We spent the whole meeting trying to teach the new members of the club how to kick the ball just right. I don't get it, they join the team without as much knowledge about the sport as a frog watching the game from a pond eighty yards from the field. Well, at least they know that we use soccer balls and that only the goalie's allowed to touch the ball with his hands.

I thought I was exempted from coaching anyone and was about to settle with kicking the ball back and forth. And then Ryuuen arrived.

"Seishuku! Come here." Coach Burns shouted.

I ran to his side to find Ryuuen there, wearing the required T-shirt and shorts, knee-length socks and soccer shoes. He was also holding a shin guard and gloves, hmm…goalie.

"This is Ryuuen Chou. You must've heard of him. He's the new kid," Coach went on a explaining to me as if Ryuuen wasn't standing there beside him. What a jerk. I nodded and he continued, "Well, he'll be the new goalie. Teach him." He tossed a ball at me and left.

I was about to protest. I'm a striker, dang it. Ryuuen stood beside me, looking awkward with all the gears he was trying to hold up. If you ask me, he should be anything except a goalie. He's small, and thin. I'll be damned if he didn't faint when the ball hits him. Smiling down at him—yeah, he's that small, about five inches smaller than me, or so—I gestured to his gears, "Have you been a goalie before?"

He looked down at the gloves, "No. Not really."

I nodded and walked over to the bleachers. He carefully set the things and sat beside me. I turned to him, "What do you usually do?"

"I'm in midfield."

"Huh. Then how come you had to be goalie?"

He smiled and started to put the shin guards on, "I signed up late and the coach said there aren't any positions left except goalkeeper."

"Ahh," I said and waited for him to finish putting the gloves on. Then I stood up, "Are you ready?"

He smiled and stood up as well. Seriously, I wonder how he can keep smiling this much. Was he born like that or just out of habit? I mean, I kind of understand. If you were a new kid, you'd do everything to please the locals so they won't think you're strange or anything. I know I would.

We walked over to the goal and I straightened up and did an impression of the coach, "Well, son. This is what we call the goal." I said, walking in front of the goal and touching the net, "This is the net. If the opponent's ball touches this, they get a point. And it's up to the goalkeeper," I looked at him pointedly, "To keep the opponent's ball from touching the net. He will stand over here, and is not to go at any point past this line, got it?" By now, Ryuuen was clutching at his sides from laughing so hard. My god, not only does his voice sound like a girl's, he even laughs like one. He has this melodic laugh down to perfection.

Amidst our laughing, I spotted Coach Burns eyeing us dangerously and, taking that as a warning we started practicing. Ryuuen's actually pretty good. Even for a beginner. He was able to block about seventy-five percent of the balls I've thrown at him. But he still has some issues to fix, like he jumps too soon when he thinks the ball will be sent one way, giving the opponent a chance to change it, or how he miscalculates some the ball's direction. Instead of it going out of the net, in his attempts to grab it, the ball ends up in it. But, after fixing those bugs, he'll be a good goalie.

We were walking to his house after practice, covered in dirt and mud. His house was on the way to mine from the field. When we got there, he offered me to come in for dinner.

"No, thanks." I said, "I want to take a shower first, some other time, maybe?"

He smiled and thanked me for teaching him.

As I was walking to my house, I replayed the day's events. He's not really that bad, when you think about it. He's just a new student in a strange town, but from the time I spent with him, he seems almost like the rest of us. He's funny, smart, and a great halfback, if you ask me. After practice, we had a little game and he played his usual position. I mean, the guy could run! He practically swooped past the other team, as he was about to shoot some goals.

A week later, me and Jason and the others arrived on the park when I saw Ryuuen practicing with his brother, well, at least I assumed that was his brother. They had the same color hair and if I'm not mistaken, he was the same guy I saw carrying the box the day they moved in. Ryuuen spotted me and waved in my direction. I waved back, if a bit hesitantly. I know I said the guy was nice and all, but he's still somewhat of an outcast. The last thing I need is for the others to pick on me about it.

Sure enough, they did, "So, you and the new kid. You friends now?" Jason asked, throwing a hand across my shoulders.

I smirked, acting cool, "Nah. He's just in the soccer club and the coach asked me to help him."

The others laughed and they went on with their game.

I know I must seem like an ass to brush the guy off like that. I mean, Jason's my friend, he won't turn his back on me like everyone else will if he finds out I know the guy. I just…I don't know. Habit, I guess. I've been trying to fit in with the crowd for fear that they might shun me for too long that even up to now, I'm afraid they'd still do that. I mean, it's 1946! People aren't as open-minded then as they are now.

"Can I ask you something?" Ryuuen asked as we were walking to his house after practice. I turned to him to see that he was waiting for my permission. I nodded and he continued, "What do you like about this place?"

I almost tripped, caught off-guard with the question. I pondered on it for a while, what do I like about this place? "The silence."

He looked at me oddly, "Silence?"

"Yeah. You see, at night, it's very quiet here. You can easily think. We went to the city once, and I can't sleep that night because cars always pass by my window. It's too noisy."

He smiled and nodded, as if completely understanding what I meant, "I see. You know what I like about this place? The people."

This struck my curiosity. How can he like the people here when no one ever takes notice of him? I hear people talk in the hallways, and let me tell you, if you were hearing what I'm hearing, you wouldn't want to be the subject of their discussion in a hundred years. And now here I am, walking alongside this person who's the topic of almost all conversations, telling me he like the people here. Weird. "Why the people?"

He smiled that enigmatic smile, "They're nice. They give you space."

_The hell they do, _I thought. I wanted to tell him that what he thought was space is actually people ignoring him.

He continued, "But when you need help, they help you." He looked up at me. I tried to hide my blush; I know he's talking about me.

"Yeah." There's pretty much nothing left for me to say, right? "Well, here you are."

We stopped in front of his porch. Before he walked up to the stairs, he turned to me, "Do you want to come in?"

Unlike his other invitations, which I turned down quite politely, but firmly, I gave this one some thought. My mom's out with my dad on some business and the only thing I know about cooking is toasting bread. I doubt they left me any food, either. Smiling up at him I was about to say yes when I remembered I'm still covered in mud from our recent practice. "I'd like to, but I'm dirty."

He laughed and beckoned me in, "It's okay. You can take a shower here. My parents won't mind. You can borrow my brother's shirt, if you like."

Finally making a decision, I smiled again and walked in after him. After all, who was I to turn down a home-cooked meal?

My nose was attacked with the smell of chicken the moment we entered. Ryuuen lowered his bag by the couch and called in, "Mom, I'm home! Do you mind if Saihitei took a shower here?"

I was surprised that he used my name to his mother instead of 'my teammate' or 'my classmate', heck, he can even use 'my friend' if he wants. A woman, who I assumed was his mother, peeked out from the kitchen with a ready smile. I guess they're just a smiley family. "Well, hello Saihitei. My son talks about you a lot. It's an honor to finally meet you."

I smiled at her and looked at Ryuuen who had his head lowered and was busy picking up his bag from the floor. "Hello, Mrs. Chou. I hope you don't mind…"

"Oh, nonsense! Hurry up and take that shower, both of you, dinner's almost ready." And then she ducked into the kitchen again.

Ryuuen gave me an apologetic grin and walked up the stairs to his room, with me in tow. His room is very different from Jason's and mine. Jason's room is a jungle, filled with trophies and clothes all over the floor, mine's pretty much the same, minus the trophies. But Ryuuen's was impeccable. His books are on one shelf, his bed was made, the floor's spotless, everything was clean.

"Are you going to come in or are you comfortable standing there?"

I snapped back and stopped my keen observation when I heard his voice. "Oh, yeah. It's just…your room…"

He smirked, "What about it?"

"It's…clean."

He burst out laughing. Okay, I think I just made a total fool of myself by revealing my thoughts. Note to self: keep thy thoughts where they belong. But really, he laughs like a girl.

"You can sit, you know."

I realized that I'm still standing, but at least I'm inside now. Clutching my duffel bag to myself, I looked around. At my present state, I'm afraid to touch anything in the room; for fear that I might dirty it or something. He stood from the bed and grabbed my bag. He's…strong. I was clutching the bag very closely to myself and he just took it from me, just like that. Nah, he caught me by surprise. No way could he be stronger than me based on his size.

Anyway, he dropped my bag at the floor and pulled me down to sit on the edge of the bed. "See, no problem."

I looked at him, unsure, "B-but…your sheets."

He gave me a weird look. "That's washable." Well, seems like we got a record! Seishuku, strike two!

He disappeared for a while and I was left sitting on his bed and looking like a lost kid in his unbelievably clean room. He came back after a while with a bundle in his hands. "Here, I borrowed you some clothes from Rokou. The bathroom's over there and there are towels on the rack."

I thanked him and went to the direction of the bathroom. Like every place in the house, the bathroom also looked cozy. Now, don't ask me how that happened, it just looked cozy to me. I showered for about fifteen minutes and emerged wearing his brother's shirt and shorts. I went back to Ryuuen's room and found that he had showered also and traded his jersey for a black oversized shirt and jeans.

When we went down for dinner, everyone was already seated around the table. Ryuuen's dad smiled at me warmly, "Hello. You must be Saihitei. Come, join us."

"Thank you," I sat to Ryuuen's left. Everyone was looking at me closely. Okay, maybe not everyone, but the little girl seating across from Ryuuen was.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to do the introductions, everyone, this is Saihitei, my classmate and he's also from the soccer club. He's coaching me to be a goalie. Saihitei, this is Kourin, my little sister, Rokou, my brother, he's the owner of the clothes. And you've met my mom and dad." I smiled at them and thanked Rokou for letting me borrow his clothes.

We ate the delicious broiled chicken Mrs. Chou cooked—see, I was right—and they engaged in some trivial discussions from things like the weather to the new games invented. The Chou family is really the ultimate All-American family. They're warm and nice and obviously close. When I mentioned as much to Ryuuen after dinner, he just smiled and said, "Well, we travel a lot. And you know how it is when you're new, you have no one else to turn to except the family."

I just bit my tongue to keep from saying that no, I don't know. But actually, I'm kind of jealous. I don't have siblings so one would think that would make it easier for my family to bond since there are only three members, right? Wrong. My dad's a businessman and always has to be out of the state or something. And when he comes here, all he talks about is how I should study hard to follow in his footsteps and continue the family business. Now, don't get me wrong, I do have plans of continuing that, but every time he forces me to do better and strive harder, I always feel like I should be doing something else. And it's not like I get bad grades or anything, if there's one thing I can be proud about it's my grades. I'm not exactly top of the class, but I'm close. I could be if I want to, really, if you'd excuse the momentary arrogance. I just don't feel like striving hard. If you know you do well without exerting much effort, why bother trying harder? And then there's my mom. My mom's actually a sweet lady everyone loves her. She's like the model mom. She goes to PTA meetings; she's very supportive of my studies and my love for soccer, she's also a caring wife, always tending to my father's needs. In other words, she deserves more than my father can give. Actually, my dad's a pretty good provider, but it stops there.

I was on my way home at around 8:30. Dinner actually lasted until around seven, but we decided to do our homework already so I won't have to do it when I get home. Heh, like I'd actually do it. That's another thing about me, I know the homework, but I rarely do it. Probably because it bores me. I mean, why bother doing homework when I already know it? Tomorrow, when I turn in my work, the teacher's would have a cow. Saihitei Seishuku actually did his work! Wow.

He walked me to the street and I noticed how they fixed the broken window of the old a store.

"Yeah, my family's business is selling cloth. So when we found this old store, my dad just thought he'd buy it. Plus, it has a house on top."

I nodded, looking at the old structure, "When are you planning on opening?"

He shrugged, "When the fixings get done, I guess. There are still a lot left to fix in here. I actually don't know much about it. But my brother does."

I looked at him, "He doesn't go to school?"

"No. He wanted to help with the family business."

"I see," I said, "Well, I better go. Thanks for inviting me in and thank your mom for the wonderful dinner."

He smiled and waved at me as I was nearing the corner. I looked back and saw him walking to the back of the store. The entrance to the house is at the back, that's what they use. But from what I remember of the store—me and my friends used to go in there during Halloween, just to scare ourselves—I think there's also a staircase inside leading to the second floor.

I looked at the papers lying across my bed. College applications. I'm planning to apply to two. My dad almost threw a fit when I told him about it. _Take it easy dad; it's becoming obvious you don't trust me with my life…_

Actually, even my mom was worried when I told her about it. She was worried that I might not pass. Well, I don't really blame her. She's seen my grades. But, if I just pass the entrance exam and the interviews, I'll be fine. I can start over.

Picking up one of the application forms, I pondered on what major I should take. The list of majors is on the back and I skimmed over them. I could go for pre-med, but that entails too much reading, and reading's not exactly the passion of my life. I could go for business school. At least, when I take over the family business, I'm prepared. No need getting good ol' dad so worked up. Yep, business it is.

Months have passed and the next thing I know, there was a letter waiting for me at the coffee table.

"It's your acceptance letter," my mom said.

I want to be as optimistic as her, I really do, but I'm too afraid to get disappointed. It's February already and just a month before graduation, I can't find a school that fast. Besides, it's college. Slowly, I opened the envelope and the moment I read the first line, I jumped up and whooped in joy. Running over to my mom, I gave her a big hug and a kiss and I was out the door.

_I have to tell Ryuuen about this_

I've been hanging out with Ryuuen and his family more and more these past months, almost every night even. But this is still kept hidden from Jason and the others. I still go to the park with them after class, but after that, I head to Ryuuen's house and have dinner or something. Most of the time, we'd just hang out in his clean room.

I really thought that clean room thing was just a phase, but turned out I was wrong. The guy's a neat freak. Okay, maybe not necessarily a freak, but he's neat, that's for sure.

When I reached Ryuuen's corner, I stopped for a while to catch my breath, having run the whole five blocks from my house. When I saw their dad's car in the driveway, I started running again. Kourin, his younger sister, who I found out earlier was nine years old and on home schooling, was playing in the yard. When she saw me, her face brightened and she jumped to me. I picked her up and twirled her in the air, laughing.

"Where's your brother?" I asked, panting.

"Ryuuen's in the shop," she told me and we both went in to find Ryuuen behind the counter, attending to a customer.

"Why are you so happy?"

I guess I still have that face-splitting grin. Inching my face closer to hers, I whispered, "I have great news."

As the customer was leaving, she smiled at Kourin and me. Normally, I wouldn't let myself be caught dead with Ryuuen, but I was too happy to care. So, I just returned the smile and she went out the door.

After the customer left, Ryuuen beckoned me behind the counter with a smile, "You look happy."

My smile still not faltering, I lowered Kourin to the ground and took the envelope out of my jacket pocket. He smiled and gave me a weird look before taking the envelope from my hands and began reading, "Mr. Seishuku, we are pleased to inform you…YOU PASSED!"

I nodded vigorously, still smiling, "I know! Isn't that great?!"

He looked like he was about to cry. Another thing I found out about this family is that they're an emotional bunch.

Ryuuen grabbed my arm and exclaimed, "This is_ great _news!" He gave me a hug and called out to his family, "Hey everybody! Sai got accepted to college! Everybody!"

Mrs. Chou—Alyssa, she insisted on me calling her by her first name, but I just can't bring myself to—came in from the house with a confused look, "What's all the yelling about?"

Ryuuen handed her the paper and she read. Then, slowly, she brought the piece of paper down, tears in her eyes, "Oh Sai, I'm so happy for you. Ohh…my baby…" She hugged me and continued sobbing. I feel like I want to cry, too. This family is starting to rub off a on me.

Ryuuen's dad also entered the store with Rokou—they were in the garage, fixing the delivery van—and looked at us. Mrs. Chou was sobbing; Ryuuen had tears trailing down his cheeks, and me on the verge of crying. "Oh guys, you look stupid. What's up?"

His wife released me and was now smoothing my hair, "Sai got into college."

Rokou ran up to me and slapped me in the back. I gave a little grunt and then I felt a hand on my shoulder. When I turned, Mr. Chou was smiling down at me, "I'm proud of you, son."

That almost undid me. I've never heard those words from my own father. It's always 'you should be like this' or 'you could've done better if you tried more'. The short time I've spent with the Chou family, they've unofficially adopted me as one of their own. Kourin teased me about being an honorary member of their household. But, you know a what? I don't remember being this happy. I mean, me and my mom, we have our moments, but this is different. With them, I truly felt like I'm part of something. I'm one of them. I'm a Chou.

"The dance is coming soon, you going?" I asked Ryuuen.

We were in my room, just hanging out and talking. Another new perspective my friendship—or secret friendship, I should say—with Ryuuen has brought me is to just sit and talk for hours on end. I've never done that with Jason or anybody. And I don't get bored. The good thing here is our talks don't even touch the topic of girls. With the others it's always 'she has better legs than her' or 'look at those ass!' Now, don't get me wrong, I like girls. It's just a sensitive topic to me.

I know what you're thinking, maybe I'm ugly or deformed or anything. Actually, no. In fact, I'm pretty good looking, if I say so myself. With eyes like my mother's, small, a amber, with long lashes; my feature like my father's, strong, clean, masculine and my fine brown hair that fell to my ears—that's as long as we're allowed to grow it. Even my built's not that bad. I could be what you called athletic, and I'm tall. So, what's my issue with girls, you ask? You see, I can't get girls. Normally, I'm pretty confident. My mother even says I'm born a leader, but when it comes to girls, I get tongue-tied. I can't seem to find the words to say that won't come off with me looking like an idiot. So, yeah. Sensitive topic. I guess it is to Ryuuen as well. Seeing as how he doesn't bring up the subject either.

Anyway, back to us in my room. Ryuuen looked a bit uncomfortable with my question, but answered anyway, "No."

"But you're coming?"

"No."

"Oh," I said, tinkering with my guitar. "So, you wanna hang out, then?"

He looked at me with a pained expression, "Can't."

I straightened up, setting my guitar aside, "Why? Something wrong?" There has got to be something if he refuses to hang out. He usually likes to do that.

He shook his head and smiled, "No. Nothing. You go, though."

Yep, something's up. "What is it?"

"It's not really a big deal, just let it go, okay?"

For some reason, I just felt angry. I mean, I tell him everything when he asks me, and now he's hiding from me? What does he take my friendship for, anyway? Throwing the pillow on my lap to somewhere across the room, I stood up and walked over to him by the window. I don't know what came over me, but the next thing I know, I was grabbing him by the arms and shaking him. "Will you just tell me what it is?!"

He winced, I don't know if it's because I was holding him tightly or because I shouted at him, I reckon it's both. I've never really shouted at him before; much less lose my cool in front of him. Actually, anyone. I don't remember being angry about anything. But that time, that moment, I just felt mad. Mad that he won't tell me what's going on. Mad that he doesn't want to hang out with me. Mad that I had to hide from everyone.

He was crying now. Abruptly, I stopped.

_I hurt him. I hurt him. How can I do that? I hurt my friend…_

Eyes wide, I walked over to the bed and just sat, waiting for him to stop crying. Stop long enough so I can apologize. "I…Ryuuen…"

He wiped the tears from his face and faced me, "I-it's okay…I-I'm s-sorry…"

I looked up, "Why? Why are_ you _sorry? I hurt you! Me! I'm the one who should be sorry!"

"S-sai…"

I held up my hand as if to silence him, "No. _I'm _sorry."

He took a step toward me, "N-no, Sai…I…"

"Stop it, Ryuuen. I said I'm sorry so don't try apologizing anymore."

"Sai, we're leaving."

AN: Whew! Long one, huh? Well, that's a first! I just can't seem to find the right point where I should end it. So…you know the drill…


	4. I think I'm in lovewith youuuu

**Disclaimer: **Do I_ have _to write this_ again? _Okay, fine. I don't own any of the characters in the story…okay, Jason's mine…I mean he's my character.

**Warning: **Shounen ai. Sap. I guess that should do it.

Notes: Today's supposed to be my first day in school. But, eh…it's just a mass…annnnnnyway…here's part three. 

**In Dreams**

I pushed the food around my plate with a fork. I didn't have the appetite. Come to think of it, I didn't seem to have the energy to do much lately. It's been almost a week since Ryuuen broke the news to me about them leaving and since then, there's nothing else on my mind. I don't even go with Jason and the others to the park after school anymore. The fact of the matter is I really have no idea why I'm so affected by all of this. I mean, I've had friends who moved and we lost contact, but never once was I affected this much.

"Stop that, it's impolite."

I was snapped back to reality by the sound of my father's voice booming across the room. He's here for the weekend and like what he wanted when he's here, we had a family dinner. He looked at me disapprovingly then resumed eating. "And don't slouch. You look lousy."

I straightened and forced myself to take a bite out of my dinner. My mother was looking at me sadly, but said nothing. When my father's at home, she lets him have the floor. I took in another bite and when I felt sort of sick, I looked at Dad and asked for permission to leave the table.

"No. You will stay here and eat the dinner your mother has prepared for you."

Mom reached out to touch Dad's arm, gently saying, "Henry, it's okay, really. Just let him be excused."

Dad turned to my mom and sighed. He may be a coldhearted bastard sometimes, but he knows when he's lost.

Standing up from the table, I trudged up the stairs to my room.

_"Sai, we're leaving. I know I should've told you sooner but you've been so excited about getting into college and I didn't want to ruin the moment for you."_

So you hid the fact that you're leaving town and we might not see each other anymore? Nice job, Ryuuen.

I know I shouldn't get all worked up about it. I mean I know they travel a lot. In fact, we usually talk about where they could possibly go if they were to leave Belen. So there's pretty much no surprise there, right? And besides, nothing's tying them to this town. They can leave anytime they want. Who was I to stop them?

I haven't seen Ryuuen for almost a week now. The last time had been in here, in my room. Right before he walked out, crying. But after that, no. Not in soccer, not in class, or even in the hallway. It was as if he was avoiding me.

_Or the other way around._

There's also that possibility. I mean, I've been an ass to him and whenever I'd look at him, I know I'd feel guilty…and sad. They're leaving, for Pete's sake. But you know what? During that whole week without seeing Ryuuen and being cooped up in my room, I can't stop thinking about him. He's one of a kind. I mean I've never had a friend who'd stand by me through the tough times. Okay, so there's Jason, but with Ryuuen it's different. I mean, how many friends—no, let's make that people—do you know who'd know about how you hide him and seem to be ashamed of him in front of other people, but never says a word about it? Ryuuen's a smart person and there's no way he won't be able to notice how I never acknowledge him in the halls or how I choose to hang out in either his house or mine, instead of going to the usual hang-out places or how when we walk to his house after practice, I'd make sure there's like about a seventy-five feet distance between us. And yet, he never said a word about it. He'd just smile and ignore it.

Now tell me, have you ever been lucky enough to find a friend like Ryuuen? I thought so.

I opened the door to the balcony and stepped out. Two chairs were positioned overlooking the street with a little stool in between them. Whenever Ryuuen spends the night or stays over for dinner, we'd sit out here and talk about anything and everything. I miss that. I'm going tomiss that.

"Hey, you okay?" I turned and saw my mom standing by the sliding glass door.

"Yeah. Sorry for skipping dinner. I didn't have the appetite."

She walked over to me and kneeled in front of the chair I was sitting on. "You don't look so well, are you sure you're okay?"

I attempted to smile at her, but instead of a smile, tears suddenly started spilling over my eyes and running down my cheeks. Unable to help it anymore, I leaned to her and buried my face in her hair. "Mom…"

"Honey…what's wrong? Tell me…" she said, rubbing circles on my back. She was cooing comforting words into my ear as I kept on sobbing. I'm not really the emotional type, but when I do—get emotional, I mean—it was always my mom who could make me stop. Only her.

"Th-they're leaving…"

"Who's they?"

"R-Ryuu-en a-and his f-family. Th-they're lea-ving town…" I said in between sobs.

"Oh baby…I'm sorry…what can I do?"

I couldn't answer her. If I knew what to do, I would've done it myself, right? I don't know what their reason for leaving is, but I do know that I don't want him to go.

When I was calm enough to stop the tears, she moved to sit beside me on the stool, still cradling my head.

"I don't want him to go…"

"I know honey. So do I. But we have to learn to let him go. We can't keep him here forever. His place is not with us; it's with his family. And if his family's leaving, he'd have to go with them, right? We can't stop him…"

"I know that. I don't know why I'm affected this much, though. I mean I have friends who come and go all the time. Why all these for him?"

She lifted my head and kissed my forehead, smiling sadly. "That's up to you to know, don't you think? I'm here. I'll always be here if you need me. But you have to figure this out on your own." One of her hands left the side of my head and went to my chest, patting it, "Find out what he means to you. Don't think. Feel. Listen to what your heart tells you…" And with that, she walked inside, closing the door to my room.

_What he means to me?_

He's my friend, what else? I don't even have to think about that.

_"Don't think. Feel."_

Closing my eyes, I tried to do what my mother said and listened to what my heart's saying.

_Thud thud thud thud thud_

Suddenly, images flashed in my head. Of Ryuuen making me laugh. Him faithfully keeping vigil by my bedside when I caught the flu. Us talking. Me training him to be a good goalie. Him tirelessly listening to me as I blather on about how much I hate my father and still come up with reassuring words even if he knew how much of a prick the man is. Him…

_"Find out what he means to you. Listen to your heart…"_

Oh, my God.

The next day, I was in a state of almost panic. Coming to a realization last night about why I'm affected so much by Ryuuen's leaving left me less to no sleep at all.

_I can't believe I missed it_

I stayed in my room almost half the day, trying to clear my thoughts. That and trying to figure out what to do.

_I was so busy forging a friendship with him I didn't see it coming_

Coming to a decision, I grabbed my guitar, my jacket and breath mints. I have to see Ryuuen!

Five minutes later, I was parked out in front of their shop. No one was at the front so I was left there with a few minutes to myself. Taking deep breaths, I gripped the wheel, thinking.

_What the hell am I doing here? What do I tell him if I see him? That I…_

I looked at my guitar sitting innocently on the passenger's seat. Its battered surface told of how old the thing is.

_Christ. What am I going to do with a guitar? Serenade him? Shit…_

I heard the bell of the store's door. Taking a final deep breath, I scooped up the breath mints from my pocket and exhaled softly.

_Okay, here goes nothing…_

Slowly, I opened the door, noticing with mild irritation that my hands were shaking. I walked to the store's door, then stopped. Quickly, I turned to the right and decided to go through the house door, instead. And again, I stopped. No, the store's better. There's a great chance he might not be there.

_But why be here at all if I didn't want to see him?_

Again, I turned and started walking to the back. No. Nononononononono. Trying futilely to calm myself, I forced my feet to go through the store. Rokou might be there and then we can chat. No. Damn it.

_I'm going to the back. Enter through the house and talk to Ryuuen. Yes. that's what I'm going to do. Yes, Saihitei. The back. Okay, here I go._

Equipped with renewed courage, I walked around the store to the back. Slowly opening the door, I thought of what I was going to say to Ryuuen when I see him. Suddenly feeling my courage slipping away, I started to hesitate. What the hell am I going to say to him?

_No, Saihitei. You can do this. Don't give up now. You're here, might as well face him now, right? Right. Okay, I'm now closing the door behind me. Yes, it clicked. Now it's closed. I am now climbing up the stairs. I'm nearing the door that'll lead me to the house. Okay, I'm very near it. Five feet. Four point seventy-five. Okay, three feet! Hey, this is pretty easy. Okay, the door's in front of me. No doubt they can see my silhouette through the glass already. Okay, my hand is on the knob. Oh, no…maybe I should knock. Oh, maybe I should've knocked when I was _outside._ No, I'm here and I'm going to…_

My breathing stopped completely when the door opened, revealing a smiling Mrs. Chou.

"Sai! I haven't seen you for quite a while. What are you doing standing there? You know you could enter our house anytime…come in, come in. sit down, I'll call Ryuuen." She practically pushed me to sit on the couch and called out, "Ryuuen! Your long lost friend is here!" she looked at me and smirked. I smiled uncomfortably.

My hands are still shaking. With as much firmness as I can muster, I balled them into fists and placed them on my lap. Apparently, it didn't work seeing as how they seemed to shake even more. Frustrated, I just left them open and laid them on my lap.

"Sai."

I looked up at the familiar voice and saw Ryuuen standing about eight feet away from me. He was dressed in denim overalls and a white shirt underneath. He was also smiling. Walking over to me, he took my hand and led me to his room.

When we entered the room, he shut the door and I looked at all corners of the place except him.

"So, how are you?"

Startled, I looked at him and whispered, "I'm okay, I guess…uh…you?"

"I'm fine."

We stood like that for a whole eternity. Okay, so maybe just a couple of minutes have passed but if you were in my position, you'd think it was longer than that, too.

"Do you want anything? Lemonade?"

I shook my head.

_Okay, now._

"Ryuuen…"

He cut me off, "Sai…I'm sorry."

Giving him a confused look, I asked, "Sorry? For what?"

He shifted from one foot to another. He's uncomfortable. "I know you're mad at me for not telling you sooner…but…"

This time,_ I _cut him off, "No. Ryuuen, I have something to tell you. I know this would upset you but I just can't let you go without telling you this. I've given this thought…okay, maybe not, but right now it seems to make sense. Last night, my mom told me to think about what you are to me and finally got the realization about 12am or something. You'd be surprised, I know. Because I've been surprised as well, let me tell you, when I found out about it. I didn't get a minute of sleep thinking about it. I don't know how it happened, I just found out that it did and now, I'm here, standing in front of you. I don't even know what possessed me to tell you this, but I just knew that if I didn't it would eat me alive or something. And I can't live my life knowing that I let a once in a lifetime chance pass before me without doing anything about it. I guess, what I'm trying to say is," I paused, catching some air. I was babbling, I know. But that's the only way I can think of where I can say everything without chickening out. He was looking at me expectantly, and I guess more than a couple of seconds have passed since I stopped because his face seemed to get more expectant, "I think I'm in love with you."

His jaw dropped.

Another eternity passed before he finally broke the silence. "Huh."

Great. I confessed my love to a boy, now all I have to do is wait before the whole village comes knocking down the door and tie me to sticks and leave me to burn at the town plaza. Very good. Not to mention, the boy I just confessed love to responded with a very intelligent "Huh."

Ryuuen took several deep breaths and walked over to the bed. I was still standing in the middle of the room, following his every movement with my gaze. And then, he spoke up, "You can't."

I blinked. Did he just tell me what not to do? "Can't what? Fall in love with you? Well, I'm sorry, but I already am."

He gave out a frustrated sigh, "I know. But you have to stop it. I'm leaving in less than a month! You'll only get hurt…"

_Did he…? Did he just say that I can't fall in love with him because he's leaving? Then that means…oh._

"So…you're saying…you feel the same?" I asked, grinning. Wow! I knew he won't flip out or anything, but I didn't know he'd take it this well!

He looked up at me, sighed and lied on the bed. "I…no…I mean…I don't…argh…yes…I…"

Now, I really can't keep the smile off my face, walking over to him, I took his hand and sat him up, "So…wow…"

He looked at me, baffled, "Wow?"

I grinned, "Yeah. You feel the same way, then…you don't have to go…right? I mean, you have one thing tying you down here…right?" I know it's wrong to be optimistic about this, but seeing the look on his face, his hands between mine, I just can't help but be.

"We can't…Sai…people will talk. Your father's going to hate you…you'll ruin your reputation…" he said, but now he's smiling.

"I don't care! I don't care what they say or if my father would hate me or if my reputation would be ruined. I don't care! As long as you're here…I don't care."

He smiled, but looked away, "Sai…I'll dishonor my family…I don't want that…and we're still leaving…there's nothing I can do. The decision's made. And it's not mine…"

I stopped all of a sudden, the smile completely wiped from my face. He's right…his family. I wouldn't do anything to hurt them.

"I'm sorry, Sai." He said. By now, tears were running down his cheeks. My heart almost went out to him, seeing him like this. Slowly, I raised my hand to wipe the tears away. And then, I leaned down and kissed his left cheek. Then the right one. Then his nose. His forehead. His chin. And then, hovering closely, I looked into his eyes asking permission. His mouth curved at the edges and very slowly, I leaned forward and kissed his lips.

That was the first time I ever kissed a boy. But Ryuuen wasn't just any other boy. He's_ the _boy. It was then that everything crashed down to me. I'm gay—no, not gay,_ bisexual._

When I opened my eyes, he was looking at me, a serene smile on his face. And it was then, I knew. I'll be spending the rest of my days with this person. It doesn't matter if he's male. He's Ryuuen. And I love him.

A week later, we had a soccer match. The "championship" as Coach Burns would call it. We were playing against the school's varsity. We beat them, 3 to 1. Ryuuen and I had our picture taken together. We have our arms thrown against each other's shoulders, grinning like the kids we are. Everyone was looking at us strangely. Me, the popular Saihitei Seishuku, happily spending time together with Ryuuen Chou, a stranger. A nobody. I could see Jason and the others staring at us wide-eyed as if someone just declared war. They couldn't believe it as well. Jason especially. He's my oldest friend and he felt like he knew me well. Well enough to know that I don't hang out with just anybody.

That moment, I feel really proud. Seeing the look of pure joy on Ryuuen's face when I swooped him in a hug when we won was probably the reason. 

From the bleachers, I saw my mom and Mrs. Chou with tears in their eyes. We came out to our families just two days after the night of my confession and Ryuuen's family hugged us and congratulated us like it was the most normal thing in the world. When we told my mom, she was happy as well. I have a feeling she knew about it even before I did. It was my dad who needed more convincing. He looked at us like we just committed the biggest sin in the world. Ryuuen held on tightly to my hand the whole time, fearing that my father would hit him or something. Not like I'd let him, anyway. Dad didn't talk to me for four days. He didn't even leave the state. He just stayed in the house in his office. On the fifth day, when I got home from soccer practice, he called me to his office and enveloped me in a hug. That was the first time I remember receiving a hug from my own father.

Did I say I knew we're going to be together for a long time? Well, I'd love to say we did. But in all honesty, we had three weeks. It was three of the happiest weeks of my life and it was ruined when I saw him packing. I mean, I really thought that after we came out to our families that somehow they'd change plans and decide to just stay here for our sake. But I guess that was too selfish a wish to ever come true.

The worst thing is: when I realized that the move was still on, I only had a few days left. What can I do in a few days? Getting a plan, I started moving to action.

"Hi." I said, standing in front of the counter one afternoon while it was Ryuuen's duty on the shop.

Ryuuen leaned forward and kissed me, "Hi."

"C'mon." I beckoned to him, grabbing his coat from the rack. He looked at me in confusion, as if asking what the hell I am up to now. Smiling, I just walked to the back of the counter, grabbed his hand and kissed his cheek, "Just come with me. Rokou can look after the store."

He came with me, if a bit hesitant. We took the car and I blindfolded him. "Don't peek. It's a surprise."

We drove around for about fifteen minutes, but it seemed longer to him because he asked me if we were still in the state. Laughing, I took his hand and kissed it. I hope he likes this. It's the only thing I can think of in such a short while.

When we arrived, I guided him out of the car and we walked a short distance. "We're here."

"Oh good, then I can remove this," he said, reaching behind his head to untie the scarf. I took his hand; stopping him, "Wait. I have to ask you something first. If there's one thing you want to do right now, what would it be?"

He turned his head in the direction of my voice, "Do? Well, get this thing off my eyes for starters…"

I chuckled, "No. Seriously."

"Seriously? Well, since I'm leaving soon. I want to see the best of the town."

I smiled. I knew that's what he wanted. He's just a sucker for sceneries and stuff. When he tells me about their traveling, he would always mention about how this place has such lovely scenery or how he thought the sight of this mountain was just breathtaking. He loved places. I guess that helps if you live on the road.

Slowly, I untied the scarf and he blinked for a while, a bit unaccustomed to having the scarf off his eyes. When he finally fixed his eyes on the view in front of him, he sucked in a deep breath, "Oh, Sai…"

I smiled. He's happy. Who can keep from smiling at the happy look he had in his eyes?

We were standing on a mountain, tallest in all Belen overlooking the biggest fields in our town. I forgot the name of the mountain, but me and my friends call it the "Old Man's Hat" because of its shape—like a sombrero, but not quite. Ryuuen's eyes were practically glowing at the sight. I don't blame him, though. This, for me, is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in all of Belen. From where we were standing, we can see the people working on the fields, towing the land and the animals, chickens, cows and goats—not so much, though since it is quite tall. Not to mention, it is also the best spot to watch the sunset—or the sunrise, whatever rocks your boat. We used to watch it when we were young and it sort of reminds me of the Aurora Borealis my father used to talk about.

Slowly, he hugged me, his arms resting on my back. Standing on his tiptoes, he kissed my nose, then both of my cheeks, and finally, my lips. "Thank you."

_That was…nice._

I stood there, staring at him like a lovesick puppy of sorts, still obviously entranced by the kiss. "You…uh…you like it?"

Ryuuen laughed. He really laughs like a girl. "Like it? Sai, I love it. This is the best thing anyone's ever done to me…" he trailed off and bowed his head.

My brows furrowed. Why is he crying? I swear I did this to make him happy, I didn't…putting my fingers below his chin, I tilted his face up so he was looking up at me, "Why…why are you crying? I'm sorry…"

He shook his head and hugged me again, burying his face in my chest. "No. No, don't be sorry. I'm happy…I'm very happy…"

He turned his head so he was looking at the sight before us, still hugging me. We stood like that for a while, not making any move. The silence was broken when he sighed, "I love you…"

I smiled, squeezing him. "I love you, too. More than anything."

He gave me one final squeeze and then we moved to the picnic I had my mom prepare. We sat on the cloth, with him cradled between my legs.*

"I'm happy."

I stopped in mid-chew of my pie when Ryuuen whispered that, "Really? I'm glad. I thought you might not like this."

Again, he shook his head; "No one's ever done anything like this for me. And now I have to leave…"

"I wished you didn't have to."

"I know. I wish so, too."

We resumed eating, but my mind was still on the fact that he'd be leaving soon. And then…

"I have an idea!"

Ryuuen choked on his juice at my outburst. I rubbed his back and tried my best not to kill my boyfriend. He was subdued after a while and smiled at me, his eyes still a bit teary. "Sorry. What's your idea?"

"Let's get married." I smiled.

*nothing hentai on this one. They were just sitting on the ground, Sai had room in between his legs where Ryuuen could sit…uhm…that didn't come out any better now, did it? But…argh! You know what I'm talking about, right?

AN: Okay, the part with Sai confessing to Ryuuen, I wanted to insert a song, maybe have Sai sing it, but I encountered a couple of, well…problems: 1) The song was "At The Beginning" by Richard Marx and Donna Lewis, and it didn't come out until the nineties, the story took place in the forties. 2) It'd be cheesy. . But, if you have it, listen to it while reading that part…I know I did.

Since I've no idea what mountains they have in Belen, if they have any, I just used this one. It's fictional. Although I got the name on one of the islands here in my country. Also, I'm not sure if they have fields there or anything. Again, these are all fictional. Okay? Okay.

Is it me or have I seen this confession before? Man, am I stuck to only one kind of confession. I mean, add in some running and fainting and this would be a perfect replica of Part Eight of my other story. Grrreeeaaat. But, if it's any consolation, I'm learning to write long chapters now…ne? So, you know the drill…it's that cute button on the lower left-hand corner…^_~


	5. Engagement, wedding bells

**Disclaimer: **I swear I don't own Fushigi Yuugi or its characters. Cuz otherwise, I won't be going to school and learning all about the physical agents in therapy if I do…

**Warnings: **Sap. No diabetics in this chapter please. I'd hate to be responsible for your next insulin shot. Angst. No people with weak hearts as well. You might not be able to take it.

**Notes: **Good God. I forgot to describe what the view was that Sai was showing Ryuuen. Anyway, I posted chapter 3 again…just minor changes and stuff. So, if you want, you can read it…or not. Fine by me. ^_^

_Otaku…_yep, I do. And I'm in college already! Well, I'm kinda used to it by now since I've been going to catholic schools since I was in preschool. Heh, I'd be a saint soon at this rate.

**In Dreams**

"Are you sure about this?" Ryuuen asked me as we were walking along the streets of downtown Belen, side by side. It's been long since we've come out to everyone with our friendship. Friendship in the platonic way, though because I don't doubt that people wouldn't hesitate to crucify us upside down if they found out. While I'd do anything for Ryuuen, I can't imagine ever putting him to harm.

So there we were, walking along the sidewalk like two friends usually do, doing the most unusual thing: looking through jewelry shops. Okay, maybe that's not exactly what you'd call unusual, but we're two high school boys, going through every jewelry shop in sight, in search for the perfect ring.

Actually, the act itself was unusual for two reasons: first, no ordinary teenage boy can afford a single ring, much less two. During those times, jewelry is almost as expensive as cars were. Okay, maybe not_ as expensive _but it's pretty pricey. Second, teenage boys don't walk through the streets on a cold spring night, looking through windows for rings. It's just not normal. But, when you come to think of it, Ryuuen and I aren't exactly the epitome of normality during those times. I mean, how many people do you know are convinced that they've found their lifelong love at the age of sixteen?

It was no less than two hours ago when I proposed marriage to Ryuuen. He'd been hesitant at first—actually, up to now—but I tried to make him see my point. If we're together, his family might decide not to move anymore. For our sakes. I know it was impulsive. I know it was stupid. But that was the beauty of it. We're both willing to do irrational things just to be together. Isn't our love grand?

I nudged him playfully and smiled reassuringly, "Yes. Very much. Are you?"

He looked up at me, "You want the truth? No. But, I want to do this."

We walked a little longer, when I spotted it. On impulse, I grabbed Ryuuen's hand and pulled him across the street to the jewelry shop across the street. Not being able to do much, he just followed me.

We stopped in front of the shop's window, looking at the jewelries on display. A glint of gold and silver caught the edge of my eye. That's it! Again, I pulled Ryuuen inside, feeling giddy. I so want to do this!

When we were just in front of the door, allowing a couple to go out first, I saw Jason. He was walking with his arm strewn over his girl-of-the-week's shoulders, whispering what I assumed were sweet nothings in her ear. He stopped when he saw me standing there with Ryuuen at my side.

"Hey." He said, regarding me coldly.

I returned his glare and straightened up, "Hey."

He smirked and turned to Ryuuen, nodding his head. Up to now, even after the whole year, Jason still hadn't warmed up to him.

Ryuuen smiled up at him. Even though Jason was a few inches smaller than me, he's much, much taller than Ryuuen. "Hi, Jason. Margaret." He also greeted the girl in Jason's arms.

"Looking for jewelry?"

"Yes."

"Ah. Well, I'll see you in school. Together." He made special emphasis on the word "together" like it's a bad thing. They both walked away, giggling about something. It couldn't have been what he said, since I failed to find anything funny in that.

Sensing Ryuuen tense up beside me, my arm flew to his shoulders, kneading the muscles underneath his coat. I looked down at him, smiling, "Well, shall we?"

We walked in the shop and the man at the counter welcomed us warmly and asked if we were interested in something. During those times, jewelry was not exactly something you'd buy on the way to the market. So, if someone walks in the shop, it must mean they're serious in buying something. My hand went to my pocket to check if the money I withdrawn from the bank earlier was still there. If my father finds out about this, I don't think I'd live long enough to experience married life. "Yes, we're interested with those rings at the window. The one with gold and silver."

The man, who looked to be in his middle forties, eyed us in suspicion. I knew what he was thinking, so I gave a small laugh, "Oh, no. It's not what you're thinking. I'm planning to propose to my girlfriend who's his twin and I'm just trying to get the ring size and his approval as well." I said. I hate denying my relationship with Ryuuen with anybody, but we live in a small town and gossip here spreads like wildfire. If someone else outside our families found out, the whole town'd know about it in three seconds flat.

The man smiled at "our" choice and began a tale of how the ring came about. I was actually, kind of lost on what he was saying because I looked at Ryuuen beside me, offering my apologies at the denial. He shook his head and smiled.

"Here you go, mister. I'm sure your girlfriend would love it. It's an antique from the sixteen hundreds. A simple band, lined with gold and platinum alternately. Although if you're talking about a proposal, might I suggest a solitaire? It's—"

I cut him off, signaling for the ring, "No, I'm sure this will be fine."

I took the ring and took Ryuuen's left hand, slipping the ring on his ring finger. His eyes were glassy with tears as I slipped the band and he looked at it in the light. "Oh, Sai…" he said, but he remembered the man standing there, "It's beautiful. Tha-Theresa will surely like this. Congratulations, man."

I sighed in relief, both at the fact that he managed not to slip in front of someone else and that he liked it. He was looking at how it shone in the light when the man cleared his throat. Ryuuen ignored him, busy with the ring. I gave a low chuckle and nudged my fiancé—_fiance__!—_to take the ring off. He took it off, despite himself, and handed it back to me. Well, I'm just glad "Theresa" liked it. There's only one more thing left.

I turned to the man, handing him the ring, and said, "Do you happen to have something of my size?"

His smile faltered, probably because usually a proposal only includes one ring—for the girl. But, afraid he'd lose a customer, his smile returned, strong as ever, "Actually, we do. You see, this is usually used as a wedding ring, so we have it both for the husband and the wife," he said in his English accent, eyeing Ryuuen suspiciously. If I were in his position, I might do the same as well. Ryuuen looked too happy to be just the brother of the bride.

He gave me the ring and I tried it on, thankful he didn't seem to require any more explanation as to why I'd need another one for myself. The ring suited me perfectly. Taking it off and handing it back to him, I smiled. "We're taking it."

We were out of the shop a few minutes later, giggling like two teenaged girls who just had their very first kiss. Ryuuen was undoubtedly happy with what we've done and none of his earlier worries could be traced on his face. I looked down at him and smiled, remembering his reaction at first.

_"Let's get married."_

_Ryuuen__ choked again, but now it wasn't because of his juice or any other media. He just choked on his own. He turned to me, eyes wide, jaws slack. He seemed to study my face for a while, as if trying to find out if I was serious or not. I just looked at him solemnly, like I propose to guys in the middle of a picnic every other day._

_"Oh, my god.__ You're serious. Are you crazy?!" He said, eyes wide at the idea._

_I smiled and kissed his cheek, "I don't know. I guess. So, what do you think?"_

_"I think I should check you in to the nearest asylum. You know very well no one would marry us."_

_He likes it. "So? Who says we have to get married in front of an altar?"_

_He was facing me now, "Well, a big chunk of the human race, for starters."_

_I laughed; my Ryuuen is so funny, "Okay, fine. So, if we'll marry in front of an altar, would you say yes?"_

_He shook his head, "You don't understand. I'm saying yes right now. But…okay, in case we get married in front of an altar, what would happen, then?"_

_I grinned, he said yes! "Well, maybe your parents would think that since we're marrie,. you don't have to move. You wouldn't want to leave your husband here, would you?" Just saying the word "husband" elated me._

_He was teary again, only now it's not because of choking, he's happy. I know I am. "Oh, Sai. You have got to be the craziest person I have ever met. And I love you. But I don't think they'd change their mind even if we did get married. Besides, it won't be legal so it won't mean anything at all."_

_I stroke his hair. God, how can I love someone so much? "So? It'll mean something to us…"_

_He buried his face in my shoulder, "But it still doesn't change anything. We might still leave."_

_"At least we gave it a try, right? Even if you leave, at least we still have something that connects us." I said, reaching for his hand._

_"Sai, I don't need any material thing to remind me of you. You're here," he said, placing his hand on my chest._

_I want to cry. I want to carry him and shout to the whole world that this man is mine and no one else's. Since I can't do any of those at the moment, I just leaned down and captured his lips in mine._

_When we stopped, he was flushing. "Okay. Are you sure about this? Sai?"_

"Sai?"

I was brought back to the present at the familiar sound. Turning to my side, I saw Ryuuen looking up at me, an expectant expression on his face. "Huh?"

"We're here."

I looked up. Oh, we're in front of his house. "So we are. Well, goodnight then…"

I was about to walk away when I heard him clear his throat. I turned to see him look pointedly at my pocket. Oh yeah, the rings. Walking up to him, I looked around to see if anyone was present. Seeing no one, I took his hand and led him to the backdoor leading to their house. "Tomorrow."

He craned his neck back and forth, also trying to see if anyone can see us before standing on his tiptoes and leaning over to kiss me. We look like idiots. Always watching out for anyone before we make a move. He's excited, I know. So am I. But I have to make this as perfect as possible. I only ever intend to get married once; I wouldn't want to screw it up.

I woke up to the sound of the alarm clock on my bedside blasting my ears. Raising my hand to slam it until it stops, I paused.

_Oh yeah._

Instead, I grab the thing and checked to see the time. 5am. Good, I've got a lot of things to do before I go to school. Putting my robe on, I quietly slipped out of my room, so my mom won't hear the door open. She won't be awake for another two hours so that means I have two hours to gather everything I need.

I went down to the kitchen and prepared me a cup of coffee. I know today is an important day, but five o'clock in the morning is still a ridiculously early time to be waking up. After finishing my cup, I went through the cabinets to find what I need, making few noises as possible.

Turning the light on the basement, I walked down the stairs, my hands full of cloth. After setting them all down on a table, I went to work.

"Sai! Get up! You'll be late!"

I was startled when I heard my mom's voice. I guess I drifted off. Standing up, I stretched and looked at the room. Our basement is quite big, with two rooms and a common area. I used one of the rooms and made a makeshift chapel of sorts. It looks a bit like an oversized altar, if you ask me. On one side, I hanged white drapes and placed a wooden cross in the middle, like the ones they have at the church. On both sides were statues of saints. I don't know all of them, but I just took everything I can find that didn't weigh a ton. About five of them rested on each side. Then, in front of it, about a meter and a half away, was an old oak table, draped with white linen—my mother'll have my neck when she finds this—reaching the floor, like the priest's table in church. And then, on both ends of the table were candleholders, the ones we use when having guests over for dinner—the gold ones. And in the middle, a Bible.

It wasn't exactly the best setting, but it'll do.

Dusting off my robe, I walked upstairs to the kitchen, quite proud of what I'd done in such a small amount of time.

Something's wrong.

I don't know why, but I just have this feeling. I'm not really the type who follows his instincts a lot, but this time, it feels different. There's a certain tugging in me that I just can't explain. It's too strong.

It started when I didn't see Ryuuen in homeroom. He's the kind of student who's never late. He's not really what one would call a geek or a nerd, but he just likes school. So, when I didn't see him that morning, or the whole day at all, I just got more worried. He hates being late, much less being absent. Especially considering he'd be leaving soon.

_Oh, no. Oh God, no._

When the final bell rang, I dashed out of the school to his house. The whole time I was running, frantic thoughts kept jumping through my head…

_He can't…right? He promised. This day is supposed to be special. I even prepared it to suit his wants. He can't leave now…he can't._

When I reached their house, my heart was beating a million a second.

_The store's closed. Why is it closed? They never leave it closed. Why is it closed?_

From the other house, I could hear Mrs. Jackson calling my name, but I ignore her. I don't usually disrespect or ignore the elderly, but I'm in a state of panic here, I think I have a reason.

Walking around, I went to the back to see if someone was in. The door was closed.

_But that's okay. It's always closed. Just turn the knob and walk upstairs, they're there for sure._

Finally feeling an iota of my courage returning, I reached for the knob.

_Locked._

I figured maybe they just went out for shopping or something. As if to prove my theory, I walked around to the garage. The door was opened. I walked over to it, a bit slowly.

_The car's not here. So is the truck._

By then my heart was pounding so loud I could hear it. I wanted to think that Mrs. Chou and Kourin just went shopping, while they made a delivery. But, I know there's no point in lying to myself when all the while I knew the truth. When I didn't see Ryuuen the whole day, when I started getting this gut feeling, when my heart started pounding, I knew.

They left.

Still a bit shocked at this, I stuffed my hands in my coat pocket and touched the box nestled in there, its velvety surface grazing my fingers. Inside it laid two rings, identical. A symbol of love and devotion.

Ryuuen's and my symbol.

Taking it out, I looked at the rings, shining in the light, gold mixing with the platinum.

Ryuuen would never know again how it feels to have it around his finger. He'd never have the connection we're supposed to have when he left. We'd never be able to use the altar I've made in the basement. We'd never share our vows that cannot be accepted by the society. He'd never be my husband, and I his.

I'll never see him again, because they've gone and left. Left me alone.

Slowly, I sank to my knees, clutching at the tiny box I held in my pocket. I didn't know it, until the tears were trickling down from my cheeks to the legs of my pants. They're gone. Mrs. Chou, Kourin, Rokou, Mr. Chou. They're all gone.

Ryuuen. Ryuuen's gone, too.

_We were supposed to get married, and when we do his family's going to change their mind and they'd let us live together. We'd have our own house and we'd live life in wedded bliss. We'd work to sustain each other's needs. We'd be successful, both as spouses and as persons. We'd stay together for as long as we want, never to leave each other's side. He promised me. He promised me he'd always love me. Ryuuen, what's going to happen now? Is this where we close our story?_

I must've stayed like that for a long time because when I finally stopped crying, it was dark outside and really cold. Stuffing the box back into my pocket, I blindly trudged on my way home, thinking of the altar where we were supposed to get married. The rings that I still have in my pocket. The life we were supposed to live together.

He left. And I didn't even get to say goodbye.

AN: Okay, I just got Belen's name on the Almanac. I don't even know if there's a Belen downtown or whatever. But, I don't know what they call the place that's filled with shops and stuff. So, there!

Aww…this is sad. I was supposed to put the next day on a separate chapter, but I realized there's no point in leaving the readers in suspense if I'm just gonna go for disappointment later, ne?

_Duo: Hey…what's gonna happen to Ryuuen and Sai? Will they be together? Will they never see each other? Hey, can I have Sai's ring if Ryuuen doesn't come back?_

_Sai__: *rubs temples* shut up, braidboy._

_Duo: Oh c'mon. Don't be such a spoilsport. Ryuuen's not coming back anyway…_

_Heero__: *pulls on Duo's braid* Duo. Shut up._

_Duo: WAAAAHHH!!! Hee-chan, you're mean! I was just trying to get us a couple of rings…_

_Sai__: You're not getting it. It's for…_

_Ryuuen__: …me! It's for me…oh Sai, I'm sorry I have to leave…that evil author made me…_

_Sai__: It's okay, as long as we're together now. *they kiss*_

_Duo: *makes gagging noises*_

_Heero__: *takes out gun and points at Ryuuen and Sai* Omae korosu._

_Q: Guys…will you go back where you belong…I can't understand what I'm reading…_

_Ryuuen__: Wellllll, why'd you make me leave, then?_

_Duo: Yeah, why'd you? Oi, Ryuu-chan, since you left…can I have the rings? Y'see, me and Heero need it…_

_Ryuuen__: *punches Duo to the wall*_

_Q: *slams them all with Clinical Anatomy book* SHUT UP! Ryuuen, if you want to know why you left…well, you should know why! Duo, NO. You can't have Sai's rings for Ryuuen…It's…mine! *glomps Sai*_

_Ryuuen__: Oi! He's mine!_

_Sai__: *sweatdrops* Oi…stop th…OI! Not THERE! Quit…OI! Don't pull that! I might need that! OIIIII!!_

_Heero__: Hn. The whole exchange took place inside qkslvr's hollow head. Don't mind them. Idiots. Omae—_

_Q: Oh, shove it, Heero.__ People…review!_


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